(Meimei and Kenneth, together with son Hugh and daughter Gwen)
Over the course of SMU's short history, there have been innumerous instances of SMU being the birthplace of budding romances amongst students. Hours spent mugging together in the Library or SMU Labs, and undergoing shared experiences such as camps, CCAs, exchange programmes, community service projects etc. would certainly contribute towards the blossoming and nurturing of mutual feelings. That many alumni couples choose to get married on SMU campus is perhaps the best testament of their affinity with the school. In the spirit of celebrating our alumni couples, we speak to Kenneth Tan (BSc (Econ), 2009) & Chua Meimei (BBM, 2007) who first became acquainted at school where Meimei was Head TA of a course, and Kenneth was one of the TAs. Their initial encounter and subsequent courtship had been anything but typical, and their differences were stark. Kenneth was Singaporean whilst Meimei was Burmese; the former was more reserved whilst the latter was outspoken. Read on to learn how an unlikely couple overcame the odds -- geographical distances, personality 'clashes', differing viewpoints -- through humour, patience and mutual respect to build an enduring love.
Hi Kenneth & Meimei! Please could you share with us how you both met? What was the very first impression of each other?
[Meimei] We met during my final semester in the Leadership and Teambuilding (LTB) class; he was one of my TAs for Leadership Through Mentorship (LTM), whilst I was his head TA. When I looked at the prospect of the guys in that class, I thought I was going to be single for life... Kenneth looked unimpressive with his signature Jackie Chan nose, was cross-eyed with thick spectacles, untidy hair, and he walked like a duck. In fact, he actually wore his Dad’s clothes.
[Kenneth] I think my first impression of Meimei was, “Who is this Ei Myo Thwe (Meimei's official Burmese name)? She comes across as haughty, arrogant, and super imposing!” It definitely wasn’t love at first sight for either of us.
(Meimei (front row second from left) and Kenneth (back row extreme right) together with their classmates in the LTB class)
From that very meeting, how did things develop or progress between the two of you? How did the impression of each other change?
[Meimei] Due to the nature of the LTM course, I had to mentor my TAs, so I usually have a few individual sessions with each of them. Through those sessions, I got to know him better. We bonded closer as we shared our personal stories. He was not good at expressing himself because he is a very private person and he shared very little about himself. However, it was also my duty as Head TA to draw him out of his shell, allow him to go out of his comfort zone, and be aware of his shortcomings. It took quite a lot of work to break down his barriers. I guess I was one of the very few who managed to do that, and he must have fell in love with me secretly. (Or so I like to believe.)
[Kenneth] See what I say about imposing? Hahaha! Well,we didn’t hit it off at first, but as I got to know her more, I realized she has something soft underneath that super tough shell of hers.
When was the first time that you realized there were sparks or feelings towards the other person?
[Kenneth] I think mine started when she left school. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Hahaha!
[Meimei] Wah! 12 years and two kids after, my memory is fading since he is no longer the same person he was when we were dating. (Chuckles) I am definitely impressed that he had good manners and was amazed at his confidence to approach me even though I was quite aloof and arrogrant. I don't think there was a specific moment when sparks flew, like those in Korea romance dramas. It was a gradual development of good impression.
Time to 'fess up. Who made the first move, and how? (i.e. did someone express his/her feelings at Starry Night?)
[Meimei] He is going to tell you that I made the first move because when I first asked him out for a meal (for the individual session under LTM), he was so guarded. He thought I was trying to ask him out on a date.
But my side of story is that no one made the so-called first move; mutual feelings had already developed over various interactions. He had even previously publicly sworn to our friends in the School of Business classroom that if he ever fell in love with me, he would jump down from any building that they pointed at! (I guess he is kind of slow in realizing how much he was already deeply in love with me back then.)
(Meimei & Kenneth when they were both fresh-faced undergraduates during an LTM dinner)
[Kenneth] I have to eat my words for declaring that I will jump from any building.
Oh gosh, you two, hahaha! Upon graduation, what happened to the relationship?
[Meimei] We lost touch for awhile after I graduated. Then we met again on one of the gatherings. I guess he realized I was The One and he didn’t want to miss out on the chance. (This is what I like to believe, haha).
(Meimei's Graduation Day in 2007; it would seem that by this time, Kenneth's heart had already been captured)
How did Kenneth propose?
[Meimei] I was looking at rings (like an accessory for my own) during one of our dates. Unbeknownst to me, he secretly went back to the shop to buy the exact piece. Before I left for Myanmar, he was worried I may be swayed to look for a Burmese prince, so he proposed to me with that ring at Pontini over dinner. I was too shocked because it was still too early in the relationship, and I was unsure what my parents would think, so I panicked. He quickly changed his tune and said, “Happy Birthday!” and said the ring was my birthday gift. *Facepalm* And that was my "proposal"!
[Kenneth] Hahaha, yes. I did not officially propose again, and we decided to get married without me proposing! She still reminds me every anniversary that I owe her another ring.
Name one thing you love most about your partner.
[Meimei] When we were dating, he was very accommodating and patient, but that went into thin air the day after the wedding. Haha… He is intellectually very engaging and he always makes an effort to answer all my questions/queries, or anything I do not understand. He is very confident of himself, hardworking and ambitious. Too many good things about him because he is my better half. (Editor's note: awwww)
[Kenneth] I think she is street-smart intelligent, and definitely very hard to handle! She used to say, “I have an attitude that you cannot handle."
Name one thing that bugs you most about your partner.
[Meimei] His stubborness.
[Kenneth] Critical and straight to the point. It does hurt, ouch!
(Kenneth & Meimei on date night and keeping the romance alive!)
Could you share a memorable or heartwarming moment that you both had together?
[Meimei] For me, it was the happiness we experienced together during the period of our wedding. We had three weddings -- one for very close friends, one for my in-laws, and one for my parents in Myanmar. Our “honeymoon” trip thereafter was around Myanmar with a 42-person entourage. In fact, it was a week-long celebration in Myanmar with the Burmese Monastary wedding for my work family, as well as lunch and dinner banquets a few days prior to the Myanmar wedding, culminating with friends and relatives who came from all over the world to celebrate our reunion. Prof Kong Yuet Peng was there for all the weddings since we met in her class and she is also my mentor. She was so happy for us. (Even though she didn't think he was the one for me at that time. Hahaha…. Prof is not always right, after all!)
(Kenneth & Meimei's wedding in Singapore on 20 November 2011, or 20-11-2011)
[Kenneth] My first meeting with my mother-in-law (MIL) was at a bar called Oosh in Dempsey (it has since closed down). I was outside running errands when my MIL decided to go for drinks. I was in FBT shorts, tee shirt and sandals. It was a Sunday night and it turned out to be an interview, get-to-know each-other-better kind of session. Come to think of it, I should have dressed better. Since then, I always ensure I am appropriately dressed, or to be a littled over-dressed, when I'm with my MIL.
You have been married for eight years since 2011; in the interim, Kenneth moved to Yangon in 2015 for Meimei, and you both have two beautiful kids together. Do you have any advice for married couples? What is/are the secret ingredient(s)?
[Meimei] We argue very often but it makes us closer and we understand each other better after each time. Those disagreements allow us a chance to discuss our different perspectives and rationales. Afterwhich, we work towards aligning our goals and values that bind us strongly. In marriage, open communication is very important in order to establish trust. It is not about the argument/disagreement, it is how we resolve those conflicts that make our marriage stronger and closer.
[Kenneth] After eight years of marriage, it’s the quality of time spent that brings us closer together. With each kid, we enjoy doing simple things like chatting and eating. In fact, most of our quality time is spent around the dining table as a family.
(Family bonding time!)
